It's like America (but south)‏

So not a ton happened this week as far as any real work updates go, and I was sick for a day, so I decided I was going to take some time to write a little bit about the things I see on a daily basis in Paraguay. I think I'll focus on just a few things.

After emailing last week I saw 6 people on 1 motorcycle, and one of them was breastfeeding what looked to be a toddler.

Now that's Paraguay.

So this country is a little bit of a train-wreck. Don't get me wrong. I love this place. The people are nice and willing to listen, the countryside is beautiful, and they sell Trix in it's original shapes. What more could I even ask for? But to be honest, Paraguay has a large list of seemingly unsolvable issues. This is not a complaint letter, but there really is a lot of stuff to laugh about and make fun of that makes each day a killer mission story in and of itself.

I guess I'll start with the smell.

There are 3 main smells of this country.

-Animal carcass

-Cow patty

-Burning plastic

Wait, 4 smells if you include:

-Alcohol on people's breath

So the beautiful countryside I described is marred sometimes by rotting animals, cow dung, and a ton of trash. Which is interesting.

Next is the food.

So this is something that will probably disappoint my Dad a bit. It sure disappointed me. Somebody (sure as heck not me) needs to tell the people of Paraguay that Mayonnaise is not a pasta sauce, and that vegetable oil is not a salad dressing. The food of Paraguay is, for the most part, really really... bland.

All of the food they eat is designed to make you full, and to be as lacking in spice or flavor of any kind. It's not so much that the food is gross as that the food is just sort of... boring, with the occasional creepy chicken testicle or goat's hoof or whatever.

Chipa- Bread shaped in a donut. Hard as a rock.

Sopa Paraguaya- Not a soup. A bitter, yellow, bread-like thing. Not terrible. 3/5

Empanadas- Come in different types, AWESOME. Best thing here except for...

Lomito Arabe- Like a burrito, or actually more like a wrap thing with meat, lettuce, and a white sauce (like a greek sauce of some kind, like on Gyros)

Mandioca- Like a terribly bland baked potato. You eat it with everything. Very filling.

Also you can buy Mexican style tortillas and jalapeños (expensive but worth it) at stores, which is nice. They come in that plastic zip bag like the generic kind in the US. My comp says he used to like spicy food but now he doesn't after not having it in a long time. This will not happen to Ol' Elder Wilson.

In other news, next week is changes. I'll get a new companion (most likely) next Wednesday. I probably won't know about it next Monday unless Elder Arrington goes to work in the office, which isn't likely either.

Well...

I'm having tons of fun and working really hard. We're doing pretty well and coooould have another baptism this week. The house is... well it's terrible and we didn't have power again but I think you guys get it at this point. It's bad.

Love,

Elder Wilson

Unnecessarily captions himself at the end of emails